Start love yourself.

Best friend and my enemy on the same time. The mirror hurts more than starving, than eating. I talk about the devil in me. The half part of my brain say that I am enough as I am, but the other part say that I need to lose weight and be perfect. I don't want to listen to the wrong part of my brain, but it's hard. If you hear everyday, that your are ugly, fat, bad and many other bad words, you trust them. I can't trust peoples as say "you are beautiful". I always think they lie. An eating discorder is not fun, it's not easy to win over it. I'ts not easy at all to live with it. A devil as live in your body, as say to you how ugly and fat you are. Everyday, every minute. I don't like mysfelf, the devil don't like me. The differents are, that I can start like myself. The devil will never start like me. How skinny or beautiful I am, the devil will think I'm still to fat. It don't depends on how I really look, because the mirror lie. I just have to understand that anorexia is not a life, it's a fucking precipitate to death. It you don't stop it today, you will lost yourself, and maybe never find yourself again. Together, we stop trust the devil, we are fucking beautiful, we are enough, we are DON'T fat. We are we, we are perfect as we are.

- Martina Brandt ©


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